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IgOr
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Joined: 22 Feb 2005
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Location: Western VicMexico

PostPosted: 4:26 PM, Wed 21 Sep 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not sure Gothic but Bears do crap in the woods cause Im pretty sure I stepped in some when was in Canada Orange_Colorz_PDT_18
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mkerr
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Joined: 01 May 2008
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PostPosted: 10:58 AM, Sat 08 Oct 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.


The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."


The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"


The man replied, "That would be my wife."
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LtColHRT
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PostPosted: 11:06 AM, Sat 08 Oct 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol
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mkerr
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Joined: 01 May 2008
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PostPosted: 9:14 PM, Mon 10 Oct 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Long Shot sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his manhood off to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I might just be able save you a thousand dollars here....."
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mkerr
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PostPosted: 11:32 AM, Thu 20 Oct 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

THE ABBO AND THE GAY MAN
It was coming to the end of the day and sitting in his tiny near deserted local pub in Mt. Isa was an Abbo.

He was having a few beers as usual when a short well dressed and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him.

After three or four beers, the gay man leaned over towards the Abbo and whispered, "Do you want a blow job?"

The Abbo leaped up with fire in his eyes knocked the gay man off his stool and smacked the crap out of him.

He dragged him out of the bar and left him bruised and battered in the car park and returned to his seat at the bar.

Not entirely amazed at what just happened the barman quickly brought over another beer to the Abbo and said,
"I've never seen you react as badly as that before.

What did he say to you?"

"I don't know," the Abbo replied.. "Something about a job."
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IgOr
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Joined: 22 Feb 2005
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Location: Western VicMexico

PostPosted: 10:01 AM, Fri 15 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin , Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ...."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"


So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ...... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed
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Snap
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PostPosted: 12:13 PM, Fri 15 Nov 2013    Post subject: Reply with quote

Orange_Colorz_PDT_04 Orange_Colorz_PDT_04 Orange_Colorz_PDT_04 Orange_Colorz_PDT_04 Orange_Colorz_PDT_04 Orange_Colorz_PDT_04
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darulezy
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PostPosted: 9:17 AM, Sun 18 May 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

A woman goes into a pharmacy, and walks down the
aisle. Halfway down the aisle, she calls to the
cashier,"Excuse me, do you have any batteries?"

Unable to hear, the man signals the woman with
his finger to come closer. He says, "Could you
just come this way?"

The woman laughs and tells the man, "If I
could cum that way I wouldn't need batteries."
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